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Health & Fitness

After 'Untouchables' glory, Eliot Ness saga grim

In a rare display of bi-partisanship, Illinois' Democratic and Republican Senators, Dick Durbin and Mark Kirk have teamed up on a public project. Alas, its only for the dubious purpose of naming the new ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms) building in Washington D.C. after famed Chicagoan and Prohibition crime fighter Eliot Ness. Chicago born, University of Chicago educated, Ness became a minor Chicago celebrity between 1927 and 1931 conducting highly publicized raids on Al Capone's liquor empire, leading a group of 11 men who couldn't be bribed; hence the moniker 'Untouchables'. Ness had virtually nothing to do with Capone's downfall and was long forgotten when his memoir 'The Untouchables' was published a month after his 1957 death from a heart attack at age 54.  Then a twist of fate resurrected Ness from history's dustbin. The Lucille Ball, Desi Arnas TV studio cast handsomely rugged Bob Stack to portray Ness in a long running TV series that implanted Ness into historical legend. Kevin Costner reprised Ness in the 1987 movie setting up the strange bedfellows of Durbin and Kirk to put a hyped Chicago hero on a government edifice.
 
Sadly, Ness' first splurge of fame was his personal and career peak, beginning a quarter century tailspin into alcoholism and early death. After Prohibition he dabbled in busting moonshiners in Kentucky and shutting down prostitution near WWII training bases. Killjoy Ness did become Safety Director of Cleveland's police and fire departments from 1935 to 1941, but failed to catch the serial killer who terrorized the city for three years and had to quit when caught fleeing a car accident after a heavy night of social drinking which had already impeded his public image. He lost his race for Cleveland Mayor in 1947 and his executive business jobs mostly ended in failure due to lack of business acumen. He was married three times, got into debt and was reduced to selling frozen hamburger patties to restaurants and clerking in a bookstore; noble work to be sure, but a long way from the Big Time. As his fortunes declined his drinking increased. He spent much of his spare time regaling astonished bar patrons of his battles with Al Capone, including several assassination attempts and the successful one of a close friend.
 
All things considered, The Eliot Ness ATF Building may be appropriate for a land running on fumes celebrating phony heroes and dubious glory. And if Senators' Durbin and Kirk are to be strange bedfellows, it should to grant the 1.3 million unemployed folks denied extended unemployment insurance. The Junior Senator from Illinois rose from the bed of compassion he should be sharing with the Senior Senator to cast the deciding vote to filibuster that critical extension. When it comes to common sense and decency, Senator Kirk is...Untouchable.

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