I'm pissed that you've excluded me from your mommy wars on the sole basis of gender. SEXIST!!

I lived in Wheaton when I had my first, which is only marginally better than California. At the playground, I heard women using their kids to pummel other women into submission. "Oh, Clayton isn't WALKING yet? My Clairborne was walking at 3 1/2 months*." Luckily, I had just read that the age at which a kid starts walking has NOTHING TO DO with anything, or I would have felt inferior, too. The mean mom just had the right combination of "tsk tsk" and pity in her voice. And for what? To claim some sort of dominance? She probably used the same voice when a girl came to school in something other than an Izod sweater in high school.

*It wasn't 3 1/2 months. But you get the idea.

"nubile young MILF" printing this line shows what a low-class opinion of women Lynn Hudoba has...Mothers I'd Love to F*** is NO way to talk about any woman if you have any class or respect at all...how disgusting!

I don't fit in w/the other moms and Im glad! I teach my son kindness, and self confidence, I don't use him to make others feel bad (he is reading at a 6th grade level and is 5yrs old) no need to discuss it at the park!..so tired of all the one-upping snobs...get a clue, spend more time nurturing and loving your kids, and stop using them for a status boost with people who really don't matter!

I lucked out with the first mommy group we joined. Our kids really were all over the place, developmentally. K was actually an early walker, yet spoke not one word of babble, yet the most talkative kid in our group didn't walk til she was 14 mo. Of course, talking seems to be more impressive than walking, but at least K had the walking going for her. She peaked early, though...she was last to jump and ride a trike and all the rest. Those first mom friends were good, though...never bragged or looked down on you for what your kid was or wasn't doing, or how long you nursed, etc. Frankly, I boobed my kid for 2 yrs, and it didn't put us on the fast track to Harvard.

The second group I joined, when we moved back North...Jesus. Horrible. Talk about competition right out the birth canal. I left that group, but I still hear of posts about all the genius kids, or how this one should skip kindergarten, or shit like that. Really? There was one mom who had her kid memorize the names of composers, then put a damn video on youtube of him identifying songs. I mean, people have time for that? To train their kid just so they can youtube him and go brag? That is not something to which I can relate...

I admit, I do sometimes like egging people on, just bc normie parents annoy the crap out of me. If they want their mommy wars, I will surely oblige. Although, autism parents aren't any better, with their diets and claims of what you need to do...can't win wherever you go.

Oh and breast feeding an almost 4 year old is weird. And DAVE, I don't think this nutcase on the cover of time would mind being called a MILF, I'm sure that's what she expected by doing the cover. You don't go on the cover of time wearing skinny jeans, and a form fitting top to breast feed your almost 4 year old and expect not to attract that kind of attention. She's a wack job, and I feel bad for her kid...imagine him at 16 and being known as the kid w/the crazy mom on time mag! Poor kid...

I hear you Lynn!! Although Drew has an Autism diagnosis he mostly kept up on the "big" milestones. It was at about 2 yrs old when he wouldn't play anywhere near the other kids that was commented on. My second was the late to talk baby. Thankfully by the time Camryn came along she was so prickly and I couldn't hear their nasty comments over her blood curdling screams. I hope they at least left with headaches. =D

My kid can disassemble a grocery store display of canned peaches faster than your kid! Oh, sorry...I thought this was a Special Needs Mommy Wars thread. My bad.

LMFAO at the putz above. THAT"S what he takes away from the article? hahahahah

Totally agree with you Lynn. Being a female is tough at the best of times. Being a male teacher it took me fours years to understand how delicate being a female is in everyday life. Seeing (some) moms roll around school reinforces your above points. Our daughter was diagnosed at age two so we obviously withdrew from that frivolous bullsh*+. Dave you totally missed the point buddy.

@ Tony Cesare, lack of class is NOT satirical...look into THAT...

I'm paraphrasing Jimmy Fallon from the other night....
"That kid is going to hate middle school"
"Someday Norman's going to be running a hotel with his Skeleton mother"
"He's always going to be compared to the wierd kid on Game of Thrones"

Nice choice on the photo!

What I am trying to take out of this whole ridiculous brouhaha is that I have no more right to judge that young mother than she has to judge me for my very laissez-faire approach to parenting. We each find our own way. Judge not, lest ye be judged. I know, it's no fun then.

I'm sad for you that you didn't like your new moms group, because I loved mine. It was a tremendous source of strength and camaraderie when I was a new mom and we stayed together through the birth of our 2nd babies as well. I'm still friends with the ladies 6 years later, 1 of which is one of my BFFs. I think we were all very supportive and nice, not uberly competitive. I think it is a misnomer to say all moms are competitive.

Which is not to say we didn't talk about milestones, because we did. But I did not view it as a competition. I viewed it as a way to make sure I knew what was supposed to be going on and what to prepare for next. For example, I didn't even realize I could give my baby solid table food at 8 mos old until I saw a mom in my mom's group doing it. I tried it and lo and hold, my baby could pick up food with his fingers and feed himself. I would never have known that without the moms group.

I think, perhaps, it is the moms who view it as a competition that have a problem and not that all moms are trying to be competitive. Rolling off your kid's stats does not mean you are competitive. Feeling like your kid doesn't measure up means that YOU are the competitive one.

I also had good experiences with various new mother groups, such as LaLeche meetings/support groups and even Gymboree. I'm still friends with many of the moms we met. Actually the very best of people! And, I'm still nursing my 4 year old child and it's NOT weird! It is the norm in the rest of the world. If you think it's weird then you have a problem. Read about Attachment Parenting!

I had read an article when my first baby was just a few weeks old that said that "crawling" was the hardest thing for a child to learn and that the longer they crawled the better "readers' they would be. I just tucked that little tidbit into the back of my brain and when all 3 of my kids did not walk until 15 months I was not freaked out and YES all 3 read in kindergarden and to this day love to read. Oh and the one who crawled funny we called her "AMTRACK" yes she was a great gymnast!!!

How I wish we had been in the same moms group before you moved away. Can I miss you even though we've never met? Wesley didn't walk until almost 18 months, and I nearly lost it at toddlers who would call him a "baby" even though he was older than them. I joined a mommy and me class and left after 2 sessions because it was so obvious Wesley wasn't anywhere near the other kids developmentally. Now, of course I know why.

Oh Lynn your column as always has made my day....I love reading it and ALL the responses! I am the mother of a kid who read very well at age 3 (imagine being able to brag about that in a play group IF I had wanted to) who is now 24 and what I do brag about is the fact that he is a loving caring individual that gives back to his community...because that is what he learned from his parents is important in life!!! Lighten up people....teach your children to laugh and love and care about people and the world and not so much about themselves and their own accomplishments. As the mother of 4 beautiful children who I LIKE as much as I LOVE, I will tell you this is what is REALLY important!!!

I get such a confused look on my face when 'baby milestones' come up. I'm sure Dude had them (at least the ones he's doing now) I know they were 'delayed', I also know that I took notice of them when they happened, if nothing else, as indicators of his condition. But beyond that, they held no interest for me, and I can only vaguely recall the timing of them. I do know that at 4 years old he could name every state and state capitol you pointed to on a blank map, and I can tell you that 14 years later he has no more idea that they're indications of real places than he did then. I couldn't tell you when he started talking, but I can say that he hasn't stopped since. And I can say that these 'milestones' held no more interest for me then than they do to him now. I've been the primary parent to my child for almost 18 years now, and while I'm certain that the Mommy Wars exist, and they still go on today.... Dude and I are Switzerland, and that's good enough for us.